Friday, August 16, 2024: Despite their deep differences, the violence had to stop.
The divisions in our country are not new. But in recent years, we have witnessed a significant fraying of our social fabric. Public officials and their families have come under assault, as have civil servants and even ordinary people. Indeed, a May survey found that nearly half of Americans think a civil war in our country is either likely or very likely.
But not all the news is bad. Research published in late July confirms an important finding: Across partisan divides, Americans greatly overestimate the willingness of their adversaries to use violence. That means we have a rare opportunity to de-escalate.
I especially recall a meeting in 2019 in Valledupar, in northern Colombia, that defied logic, given 50 years of armed conflict in that country. People from all sides of the political, ethnic and cultural divides — every one of them personally impacted by violence — sat around a table. Two of them had family members who had been extradited and imprisoned in the United States: one the son of a prominent paramilitary leader and, on the opposite side, the brother of a FARC guerrilla commander. Yet there they were together, talking and listening. Learning. Eating. Even laughing. They rarely agreed; in fact, they argued with passion. But they kept on talking to pursue a shared conviction: Despite their deep differences, the violence had to stop.
They called their ongoing conversation the “Improbable Dialogues.” For me, who had worked with victims in this same region at the height of violence 20 years earlier, the gathering left an indelible impression.
But Colombia is not the only place I have seen this kind of courage. I saw it in the cross-community work over decades in Northern Ireland, and in the remarkable work of the “women of Wajir” in the border areas of Kenya and Somalia, who brought about the end of widespread warfare between clan-based militias.
It can work here, too.
With our current divides, many people feel forced into choosing sides. We pull back from relationships where even a hint of political difference exists. We consider who said something and whom they associate with to judge the merit of what they said. We talk a lot about those we don’t like. We rarely talk with them. To feel safer, we only engage with people who agree with us.
Places like Valledupar offer examples of people who had to navigate historic harm, poisonous politics and open violence. Their willingness to engage and think innovatively made the difference. Indeed, achieving and sustaining an end to armed conflict requires a web of people who, despite their differences, are willing to confront the forces of violence where they live. They suggest a way forward for us.
First, we need to reach beyond our isolated bubbles. In other places, reaching out frequently started with a few people who had the imagination to take a small risk: They dared to open a conversation with their perceived enemies in their own community. This small step was the start of a meaningful journey.
Second, we have to rehumanize our adversaries. We must have the courage to confront dehumanizing language and behavior, especially when it comes from within our closest circles. For many, like the Improbables in Valledupar, these became guiding daily practices: Refuse to belittle others. Stay curious about their lives. Speak about your own deeply held convictions without blame, retreat or demonization.
Finally, we need to stick with it. We can’t just pull away when difficult issues emerge. We must engage on policy but also acknowledge deep-seated fears, historic wrongs and identity differences. People who learn to stay the course know that politics without violence is only possible when we stay connected. It’s hard, but not nearly as difficult as stopping a war.
The very notion of the Improbables suggests the unexpected can have transformative power. When former enemies jointly propose ideas, it shocks the system of toxicity. People can no longer react instinctively; they must stop and look twice. Even a short pause of curiosity opens potential for a more meaningful conversation.
Our country could use a good pause. Thankfully, we have many such efforts already underway.
The Bridging Divides Initiative, the Citizen Connect platform and the Weave Community have developed national maps where local people are engaging across divides throughout our nation. StoryCorps’ One Small Step initiative shows the potential and power of one-on-one conversation among highly diverse people and in places we would least expect a meaningful dialogue.
The One America Movement, joining up with religious communities, has reached over 1.3 million people who constructively confront toxic polarization over political, religious and racial divides. Or take the Sustained Dialogue Institute: Informed by deep international experience, it has supported campus-based programs at nearly 100 universities in the United States. Its approach encourages students to begin enduring conversations about the volatile issues that matter most on their campuses.
The best way to end a civil war is to stop it before it happens.
Will Americans have the courage to nurture these initiatives demonstrating that politics — honest partisan politics — can thrive without violence? I believe we can, and we must.
Full opinion article by By John Paul Lederach
Comments